Look at this

This is a picture of some water and the western coast of one of the Aran Islands (Ireland). I took this in January 2003 when I was there for a month studying art and culture. Yes, I did actually lean over a cliff to take this picture.

I figured the blog needed a bit of color. I thought it was looking a little bland.

Last night was no good. I was up late by myself and started thinking about my parents and worrying unnecessarily. I went though about 1/3 of a box of Kleenex and then decided I should just go to bed. I guess it's been a while since I've lost my head about this.

This morning I got up with puffy eyes, tried to be civil to my roommates, got a ride to school from Steve. I had to teach at 11am and was thinking about asking someone to cover for me. Then I found out one of the other TAs was sick and someone was already covering all three of her classes. So I decided to act tough and happy and do my job like a real adult.
Surprisingly, it really cheered me up. My class today is usually my "quite class" (where I ask questions and then they stare at their notebooks)... but they were more talkative today. Very encouraging.

I'm sitting in my office right now (hooray office hours), wondering how long this day will be. I should probably start grading the 80 papers that are sitting on my desk.

I'm not sure what I should do to get happier. This might just be an unhappy time. Maybe I should go back to Ireland.

Dancing Frog Man

I'm back from Thanksgiving in RF. Today I have to crank out a draft of my last big paper of the semester.
Being home was emotionally difficult. All I did was eat, wash dishes, and watch HBO movies... but it'd been 5 weeks since I'd seen Dad and he has certainly taken a turn for the worse (or so it seems at this point). I've also never seen my mother look so exhausted. (I think I say that after every time I go home... it's always true.) This time around was really bad. I felt so helpless. She thinks Dad's going to "go" in a few weeks. Neither of them have slept through the night in at least two months.
He's just so tired all the time, but his brain won't let him sleep for more than about 45 minutes at a time. For a few hours every evening, he seems to wake up a bit, and I did have a few short conversations with him where he actually responded with sentences and asked me questions. Other than that, all we can get out of him are "yes" or "no" answers, and he makes a lot of very painful noises - he has horrible headaches.

On Thursday night I found a box of really old pictures (well, "old" to me - 1984-89ish). There were some great ones of Mom and Dad and little me and my fat, baby sister. (She's not so fat anymore.) The ones with Dad, all tan and slim with dark brown hair, really made me sad. We all looked so happy... then again, that's what you generally do in pictures, isn't it... look happy.

There's just nothing I can do about this... there's nothing anyone can do. I'm nervous for the holiday break. I know I need to be home as much as I can, but it's so hard. God, and I say that knowing full well that my mother has to stay at home almost 24/7. I'm so selfish sometimes.

In other news -
My sister turned 19 last Tuesday. I burned her three CDs. (Laura = broke, if you didn't remember.)

My brother got his wedding photos back and they're *gorgeous*... I don't think I've ever said that about any wedding photos before, but these really are amazing. They're giving the whole family some copies as Christmas presents. :P

I've recently lost a good friend. What do you do when someone just stops talking to you and blatantly ignores e-mails and phone calls you make? You do nothing, I guess, except get a little pissed off and then move on. There are many other wonderful people in this world.

I got out Lucas last night for the first time in a while. Yay hookah.

I should go wash some dishes or do some other type of cleaning to procrastinate on this paper I need to write.

Happy Turkey Day

Okay, so I'm a day early. Happy Thanksgiving tomorrow.

I bought the Traveling Wilburys Vol 3 yesterday. So far so good (I'm listening to it right now). It'll be nice to have some new music for the drive home this afternoon.

I finished my stupid Maxim research methods paper. I had to write a short paper for my Methods class about content analysis - we all had to purchase the Dec issue of Maxim. Five bucks! Damn. I can think of quite a few other things that I'd rather purchase with that five bucks.
It was funny though - the one time I actually wanted to buy Maxim, I had to go to four different stores before I found a copy. Slightly ridiculous. I gave it to Steve after I finished... hell, it was five dollars, I should get as much use out of it as possible.

One more paper to revise today... then I'm packing and heading back home. It'll be nice to drive. I'm looking forward to it. I need the time to think.

Yay Wilburys. Yay.

A few random thoughts

I've been "under the weather" for about a week now. I bought some Wal-phed (the Walgreen's brand of Sudafed), I had a smoothie with wheat grass, and today my roommate gave me some vitamin supplement thing (loaded with some serious vitamin C). I think I just need to drink more water.


I'm starting to worry slightly about my lack-of-money situation. I know it's not REALLY a big deal and that I'll be just fine in the long run. That car bill was just enormous. My mother had mentioned that she would put in on one of her cards, which I thought was just ridiculous, considering what's going on at home and the fact that it's MY car. I put the bill on my card when I picked it up. I didn't say anything to mom and she didn't say anything to me. I realize I've been very spoiled to have wonderful parents who always help me out... I don't want that help this time. I'm just scared, 'cause the CC bill at the end of the month will most likely be twice what I make as a TA in one month. Then there's rent and utilities and groceries... blah blah blah. Does this mean I'm an adult? Probably not.

I got a solid A on a paper yesterday... this was the paper that I wrote TWO hours before the class started while watching the Rumsfeld resignation unfold (yeah - remember that paper?). SOLID A.
I'm just really glad I've figured out how to write well, so that even when I have no idea what I'm talking about, I can bullshit through it and sound like I know exactly what I'm talking about.
Or maybe I do know what I'm talking about and just don't realize it?

I have no idea what I'm talking about.

I watched PI last night (how do I make the pi symbol on a keyboard?). I thought it was pretty good... it was all in black and white and I honestly didn't understand everything that happened, but I liked it.
I saw Munich the night before (my new roommate and I got a membership to the local video store... unlimited rentals, two at a time, for a month). Munich was very powerful (and very long), and I now feel that I need to read more about it before I comment on the content of the film.

I turned in my third Research Methods paper today. I feel pretty good about this one, but I could be wrong. I fell asleep in class on Tuesday and may have missed some stuff. (Yes, I fell asleep in a class of only 10 people, and the professor definitely noticed.) Bad grad student. I blame the cold... but then again I did pretty much the same thing last week. My body apparently needs a 5pm nap.

That's about it. I'm excited to have a night off tonight. Laundry and grocery time!! (Wow.)

I miss my friends back home. I can't wait to get back for a few days over Thanksgiving.

Headline of the day

"I feel that that Chuck E. Cheese's is a threat to the health, safety and welfare of the community." - Milwaukee Ald. Tony Zielinski

This quotation appeared in today's Milwaukee Journal Sentinel. The actual story behind it is kinda sad (read it here). Buuut that quotation (and I copied it correctly - there are two "that"s) is really funny.

I got the Happy Car back yesterday. It's very shiny - and very happy once again - and is chillin' safely in the garage.
Now I have to figure out what to do with my gigantic credit card bill... hmm.

Missing - 1 Happy Car

I haven't gotten a call from the body shop yet today, which means my car is still in surgery... which means I will not be going home for the weekend. I'm not sure how I feel about this.
On the one hand, I feel really sad and guilty - because it's been three weeks since I was home last and not returning home this weekend means I won't get back again until Thanksgiving.
On the other hand, now I actually have some time to relax... and to do laundry.
I took last night "off" from thinking, and this afternoon I'm planning on doing some reading - and that's ALL. I also get to attend the "game night" party with my fellow Soc majors tomorrow night... and probably help my new roommate move in over the weekend.

Dad's done with radiation therapy now - yesterday was actually the last day. I guess he's tired beyond belief and will be for another few weeks. Katie has been home a few times since the last time I was there - that's good and bad. I think she goes home mostly because she's having a very difficult time adjusting to college life... and the only way that this "adjusting" will happen more smoothly is for her to stay on campus. She's thinking seriously about transferring next year for soccer, so she probably doesn't really care about adjusting to the current campus.
I just think it'd be hard to spend a year stuck somewhere that you really hate... especially if this place is in Iowa. :P

I hope the Happy car is done soon.

I'm going to go find lunch.

WOW

Apparently, Rumsfeld just announced his resignation.

That was fast.

This is nuts.

Remember that paper I have to turn in today at 4pm? Yeah. I still haven't started.

Political Overload!

It's 12:18am. I'm sitting at my computer, compulsively hitting the "refresh" button on my browser and watching the election results come in. (Our TV left when one of the roommates moved out last weekend.)

Okay, so I know our political system is ridiculous, over-dramatic, and most-likely corrupt, and I should probably move to Canada (or at least back to MN).

My take so far:

I'm pretty damn disappointed in WI for passing the marriage amendment and civil unions ban. Seriously, people - I know the wording was confusing - but do you understand what this means?! Judging by what my students were saying today in class... most people don't understand. SAD. We're also apparently in favor of the death penalty now. Hmm... guess that had to happen sometime.

On the other hand - my former district re-elected Ron Kind, and Herb Kohl is back yet again (but they were shoe-ins, basically). Doyle beat Green. Gwen Moore, the congresswoman for my (new) district, is back in action. Aaaand I just read on CNN that the dems have the majority in the House, which means that Nancy Pelosi is the first female speaker of the house.

I'm still watching the WI Attorney General race, as well as the SoDak race - to see what they do with those amendments, and the Senate race is making me slightly crazy.

I have a paper due tomorrow. I haven't writing started yet. :)

................................................

20 minutes later...
South Dakota has voted down the amendment to ban abortion. Rock on. Buuut, their marriage amendment also passed, and the marijuana one failed.

Nevada has voted to raise minimum wage (as has Montana). Still no verdict on Nevada's second proposed amendment.

.................................................

Welp, it's 1am. I suppose I should turn in... since I'm going to get up early and... write a paper. Wow. I'm a grad student. I probably shouldn't do this. Come to think of it... I never did this in undergrad.
Damn election.

Monday Monday Monday!

Today was a very eventful day. It was so exciting that I have decided to give you a play-by-play, right here, right now.

6:00am - My alarm goes off. I get mad because I was having a great dream about me moving to South Jersey for the summer. Beaches...

6:10 - I call my roommate's phone. She's supposed to get off work in an hour, and I am supposed to meet her at the car dealership so she can give me a ride home after I drop off my car.

6:11 - I hear vibrating noises and realize my roommate's phone is sitting on bookshelf in the living room.

6:13 - I walk into the bathroom and find a note from Erin (roommate) that says she got off of work early (4am) and is sleeping... and would like to sleep for at least 7 hours, so could we do the car thing later?

6:15 - I go back to sleep.

8:05am - My alarm goes off... again. This time no cool dream. I get up, eat breakfast, and drag my computer and books into my room and sit on my bed in my pajamas and write a paper about the survey method of research.

10:22 - Paper finished. I get in the shower.

11:00 - I drive to school to get cash and meet Becky who I hope is going to help me pick up a futon... it all depends on if her car is big enough. (I tried to find someone with a truck but couldn't, so Becky's Camry is the last resort.) I'm stopped on my way up to the office and asked if I'd sign a "declaration" to vote tomorrow... so I sign this giant piece of paper that looks like the Declaration of Independence. They give me a free wristband that says "VOTE" in exchange for my signature.



12:00 - Becky and I are on our way to pick up the futon I found on Craigslist.

1:30pm - Becky and I drive back to my house, through the heart of the Milwaukee "ghetto", with a bunch of futon pieces sticking out the back end of the Camry... but we DID get it to fit!!

2:00 - Erin calls and says she's shopping and can I drive to the dealership now so she can pick me up... soon? No, I cannot. I'm in the middle of making a very interesting lunch with Italian seasoned ground turkey and a cucumber.

3:00 - I call Steve, my soon-to-be new roommate, and ask him if he can give me a ride to the dealership. Yes, he can. He'll "be there in 5."

3:04 - Erin comes home from the mall.

3:05 - Steve shows up. We drive to the car dealership... once again straight through the "ghetto." (It's a short cut to a lot of places.)

4:15 - Steve drops me off at home. I get to work assembling the futon pieces.

4:45 - I eat ice cream because the futon assembly isn't going well.


5:30 - I finally finish putting together the &*(^#&@^!$ futon. (I know, it took a while. I've never put together a futon before, and I didn't really take it apart... Becky did.)




5:45 - I'm writing this. The futon cover is in the wash. I should be writing a second paper.

SO, the futon is here and paid for. The car's getting fixed (it'll be Happy again soon!). I should really start on my paper. I might eat more ice cream instead.

What's better than a nap?

Today I took my buddy Nik coat shopping. He moved here from Texas and needed a REAL winter coat (and not the hooded sweatshirt that he'd been calling his "coat" for the past four years).
On our journey to Burlington Coat Factory, Nik told me that when he got back home he was going to take a nap... because he'd gotten up way too early (around 10am) to go on this shopping expedition. What follows is an excerpt of our discussion of napping.

Nik: "Can you think of anything better than a nap?"
Laura: "Well, yes... I think so."
Nik: "Well yeah, I guess there are a few things... like a great game of basketball, good sex... and hoodies."
Laura: "Hmm..."
Nik: "What? You don't like my list? What else would you add to that list. I don't think there's much to add."
Laura: "Well... I was thinking along the lines of... food. I mean, really good food."
Nik: "Yeah, okay, I guess that's true. But still... there aren't many things that beat napping..."

[Insert stop at Best Buy, where I find a Tom Petty CD on sale for $5.99...]

Laura: "I thought of another thing that beats napping..."
Nik: "You did not... okay, what?"
Laura: "Tom Petty for 6 bucks!"

Waaahooo.

Happy car update

I'm slightly fed up with the district five police force here. There is apparently only one officer who can write up my police report... he works nights and is actually on vacation until Friday. Grrrr.

I spoke with Secura, my insurance company. I'm working with a guy named Tom, who apparently has a son two years older than I am (he said that after he asked for my birth date). Tom told me to get two estimates on the car.
I got recommendations on two places. Off I went - first to Pinkey's Capitol Auto body, where I spoke with Pinkey himself (the cutest old guy I've ever met). Then I went to Hall's, which was recommended by Tom, and spoke with a nice gentleman named Skip.
The estimates came within $40 of one another - in total (and without taking the car apart to look for possible damage inside), the damage is a little over $3100.

Ouch. Poor, poor Happy car.

I did snag the garage spot from my landlord for only an extra $25 a month... so that's good.

I also dropped some heavy duty, wrought iron, fire-poking utensils on my foot yesterday. That hurt a lot.
This morning I got a flu shot (not sure how much faith I have in these things, but I can't be sick when I'm around Dad, so I figured I'd get one). Now my arm is sore.

I suppose things could be worse. My cell phone could break... a tornado could go through Milwaukee... a swarm of locusts could overtake my neighborhood.

I'm going to see a movie about Riot Grrrls tonight... and then possible one on the Pixies.
Hooray Documentaries.
It was a tough choice - there's also one tonight about the Rastafarian way of life... that looked really cool.