Dancing Frog Man
I'm back from Thanksgiving in RF. Today I have to crank out a draft of my last big paper of the semester.
Being home was emotionally difficult. All I did was eat, wash dishes, and watch HBO movies... but it'd been 5 weeks since I'd seen Dad and he has certainly taken a turn for the worse (or so it seems at this point). I've also never seen my mother look so exhausted. (I think I say that after every time I go home... it's always true.) This time around was really bad. I felt so helpless. She thinks Dad's going to "go" in a few weeks. Neither of them have slept through the night in at least two months.
He's just so tired all the time, but his brain won't let him sleep for more than about 45 minutes at a time. For a few hours every evening, he seems to wake up a bit, and I did have a few short conversations with him where he actually responded with sentences and asked me questions. Other than that, all we can get out of him are "yes" or "no" answers, and he makes a lot of very painful noises - he has horrible headaches.
On Thursday night I found a box of really old pictures (well, "old" to me - 1984-89ish). There were some great ones of Mom and Dad and little me and my fat, baby sister. (She's not so fat anymore.) The ones with Dad, all tan and slim with dark brown hair, really made me sad. We all looked so happy... then again, that's what you generally do in pictures, isn't it... look happy.
There's just nothing I can do about this... there's nothing anyone can do. I'm nervous for the holiday break. I know I need to be home as much as I can, but it's so hard. God, and I say that knowing full well that my mother has to stay at home almost 24/7. I'm so selfish sometimes.
In other news -
My sister turned 19 last Tuesday. I burned her three CDs. (Laura = broke, if you didn't remember.)
My brother got his wedding photos back and they're *gorgeous*... I don't think I've ever said that about any wedding photos before, but these really are amazing. They're giving the whole family some copies as Christmas presents. :P
I've recently lost a good friend. What do you do when someone just stops talking to you and blatantly ignores e-mails and phone calls you make? You do nothing, I guess, except get a little pissed off and then move on. There are many other wonderful people in this world.
I got out Lucas last night for the first time in a while. Yay hookah.
I should go wash some dishes or do some other type of cleaning to procrastinate on this paper I need to write.
Being home was emotionally difficult. All I did was eat, wash dishes, and watch HBO movies... but it'd been 5 weeks since I'd seen Dad and he has certainly taken a turn for the worse (or so it seems at this point). I've also never seen my mother look so exhausted. (I think I say that after every time I go home... it's always true.) This time around was really bad. I felt so helpless. She thinks Dad's going to "go" in a few weeks. Neither of them have slept through the night in at least two months.
He's just so tired all the time, but his brain won't let him sleep for more than about 45 minutes at a time. For a few hours every evening, he seems to wake up a bit, and I did have a few short conversations with him where he actually responded with sentences and asked me questions. Other than that, all we can get out of him are "yes" or "no" answers, and he makes a lot of very painful noises - he has horrible headaches.
On Thursday night I found a box of really old pictures (well, "old" to me - 1984-89ish). There were some great ones of Mom and Dad and little me and my fat, baby sister. (She's not so fat anymore.) The ones with Dad, all tan and slim with dark brown hair, really made me sad. We all looked so happy... then again, that's what you generally do in pictures, isn't it... look happy.
There's just nothing I can do about this... there's nothing anyone can do. I'm nervous for the holiday break. I know I need to be home as much as I can, but it's so hard. God, and I say that knowing full well that my mother has to stay at home almost 24/7. I'm so selfish sometimes.
In other news -
My sister turned 19 last Tuesday. I burned her three CDs. (Laura = broke, if you didn't remember.)
My brother got his wedding photos back and they're *gorgeous*... I don't think I've ever said that about any wedding photos before, but these really are amazing. They're giving the whole family some copies as Christmas presents. :P
I've recently lost a good friend. What do you do when someone just stops talking to you and blatantly ignores e-mails and phone calls you make? You do nothing, I guess, except get a little pissed off and then move on. There are many other wonderful people in this world.
I got out Lucas last night for the first time in a while. Yay hookah.
I should go wash some dishes or do some other type of cleaning to procrastinate on this paper I need to write.
posted by Laura at
9:23 AM
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