Holding Out For A Hero

writing my paper proposal for senior sem. or trying to. not going well. boycotting capital letters. procrastinating. there is too much drama in my life. can't decide if i want to go crazy about it. sometimes that just takes too much energy. i kind of want to color with highlighters. i really just need to graduate and move far far away.
canada is sounding very appealing right about now. i've never actually been to canada. i saw it from across the way at niagra falls once. i was five. the only thing i really remember about that trip is looking down over the falls and seeing very tiny people in bright yellow raincoats and wondering how they weren't drowning.

i need to get bar crawl tickets next week. anyone want to come with me?

ohmygod i really don't want to write this damn paper. it isn't due until 4pm tomorrow... but still, i probably shouldn't put it off anymore than i have. wondering how i'll ever survive in grad school if i can't write a fricking paper proposal for suzanne wilson! (suz quote of the week= "... an african-american, middle class white woman...") yeah.

i have big dreams for my future. i want to be ghetto fab. i want the world. i should become friends with paris hilton. then i could make videos and have a teeny-ass dog and an eating disorder. random random random... WOW. (oops, forgot about the capital letters boycott for a second there.)

i think i'm going to write a book. memoir. because my life is really *that* interesting, you know. i'll just change the names of people and places and make myself blonde. it'll be an instant best seller. dag, yo. i think i'll call it... hmm... can't come up with a creative title. i'll think about it and get back to you.

winamp: move your body girl, makes the fellas go... ooh, the way you ride it girl, makes the fellas go...

HOMEWORK. HOMEWORK. HOMEWORK HOMEWORK. THE CAPS LOCK IS TAKING OVER.

Holy Guacamole

I got a free chips & guacamole from Chipotle at Relay for Life. Too bad I never go out to eat anymore.
Much to do. My head has started to spin. I'm really starting to wonder what the hell I'm doing. Why don't I care that I don't have a job yet? Have I become too laid back? Funny, since I used to be so damn uptight.
I'm just trying to take one day at a time, but it still seems like nothing is working out. I guess that's life. I really hope I can stay in touch with my friends from GAC after graduation, but I'm starting to think that it's not going to happen with very many of them.
What is the definition of a true friend? Is there a definition? Do I have any? I feel like I'm questioning every single aspect of my life these days. It's very lonely here. Then again, it seems like a lot of people are going through similar things. So are we all lonely together?
That is MESSED UP.

I need to take a shower.

Procrastination on a Sunday afternoon

Howie Day - Collide

Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme
Out of the doubt that fills my mind
I somehow find
You and I collide

I'm quiet you know
You make a frist impression
I've found I'm scared to know I'm always on your mind

Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the stars refuse to shine
Out of the back you fall in time
I somehow find
You and I collide

Raise it up!

Last night was GAC Relay for Life. It was pretty cool. A looong night, but our team won the Best Spirit Award, AND over all, $38,000 dollars was raised. Yeah. That's A LOT of money. It's over double what they raised last year.

Our team had fun with our sombreros, our maraca batons (we passed a pair of maracas between the people walking - like batons in a real relay), the beachball, and our COWBELL. We had way too much food.

I got home at 7:15 this morning, then slept 'till 2:30 this afternoon, which gave me enough time to wake up, eat "breakfast," and shower before Kristen's sex toy party (which was very cool, btw).

Now, both Becky and Kristen have gone home and Kim is MIA. What to do. :P

I Ruin Good Music!

Y'know how in 6th grade, you'd listen to a good song overandoverandoveragain until you were sick of it? Yeah, I still do that. I think I may have ruined the Scissor Sisters. Then again, maybe the Scissor Sisters and I just need a break, a vacation from one another... to figure things out. (It's a rocky relationship, but I need to stay strong.)

I have not done homework since Monday night.

I bought a ton of stuff at Walmart today for Relay for Life. I'm so freakishly excited. Part of my brain thinks it's some big party that I'm hosting - like I used to in HS. I get so into these things.
Anyway, I bought kabob sticks for the fruit, as well as a cooler... but I failed to make sure the sticks would fit into the cooler... they don't. I'm going to have to cut them. BOO.
I also made a batch of Berry Blue Jello/UV Blue Vodka jigglers, and I'm pretty sure I used WAY to much alcohol, because when I open the fridge, all I smell is UV Blue. Oops.
I'm going to make Orange ones either late tonight or tomorrow morning.

SERIOUSLY. I am a bad student.

It's doubly sad, because most other people seem to be occupied with actual things to do, so not only do I sit and do nothing, I sit and do nothing by myself.

I just remembered that I forgot to get popcorn at the store today. Dammit.

At least tomorrow's Friday... ha... then again, it won't really be any different than any other day this week.

Oh, btw, John's birthday celebration was way fun. I went down to Patty's with Tara and Jackie - we left at 1230, but he was feelin' it by that time. I bought him his first shot - a blow job. (Not my idea, but funny to watch.) I heard he got really sick later that night... but that was probably inevitable.

OK, back to doing more of the nothing I was doing before.

Dang!

When I was at Econo last night, I saw my very favorite pizzas ON SALE - 2 for 1!! Sadly, my freezer is way too small to hold even one of them. (Sob.) Ooooh, Red Baron. They make a new thin crust 5-cheese. THIN CRUST! Orgasmic! Dang... I bought sourdough english muffins instead. Hmm...

I was at Econo to pick up a perscription... I have an ear infection. I haven't had an ear infection since I was like, five years old or something.

Getting excited for Relay for Life. Matt and I were in Mankato yesterday to buy sombreros. Woot! Hooray for Factory Card Outlet. That reminds me, I have to balance my checkbook.

Tonight at midnight, it's John Zeiler's 21st birthday! Everyone should come out and watch him be drunk. Yep.

Gustavus just tried to get me drunk on a Monday!

I got back from a Wine Tasting "event" about an hour ago - sponsored by the PA's. It was FREE - 7 different wines, and unlimited fruit, cheese, bread, and crackers! I definitely had a buzz going as I sat down to watch Kiefer in 24. I love that Gustavus just gave me free wine. I love it!

ps- If anyone wants to tour the winery in New Ulm with me, they have public tours every weekend starting at the end of April. Woohoo!

SPRING IS HERE

It is SO nice outside! Warm weather makes me so happy! Hooray for sunshine! (Sometimes I wonder why I didn't go to college somewhere warmer.)
I'm off to wear flip-flops and run amok... that is, until my stupid Anthro meeting at 4:30 (only the dorky anthropologists have meetings on Friday afternoons - arrgh!).
That's ok though, this weekend's going to be fun!

Thank you, Tom Petty

I survived NYC. Are you proud? It was rough towards the end, with a day and half of flight delays and a lot of crabby crazy people. Airport limbo is never a good place to be. If you'd like more stories about Kristen and me in NYC, please ask. I get some of my pictures back tomorrow.

So now I'm back, still crazy, and behind with my school work. Such is life.
Was up in the cities at the Minnesota Non-Profit job fair yesterday. It was okay. Nothing too exciting. Jackie, Tara, Heather and I carpooled... that was cool... we were all dressed up in our sexy suits... it felt like we were playing hooky or something. We went out to eat at the Old Spaghetti Factory (I'd never been there... it's awesome!), then we went to the MOA and Ikea. Ha - we go to a job fair to find a job so that we can have money and end up spending money we don't have from a job we haven't found yet. Wonderful.

Excited for P-ball. Woot! I like to dress up and make myself feel sexy. Ha.

I can't believe I'm almost done with school. Us seniors got to pick up our caps and gowns today. Holy shit. I cannot live in the real world. The future is coming, and I am powerless to stop it!
Then again, maybe it'll be fun. Future future future.
Tom Petty is giving me some pretty good advice right now, which I will reprint here...

Well I won't back down, no I won't back down
You can stand me up at the gates of hell
But I won't back down

Gonna stand my ground, won't be turned around
And I'll keep this world from draggin' me down
Gonna stand my ground and i won't back down...

Well I know what's right, I got just one life
In a world that keeps on pushin' me around
But I'll stand my ground and I won't back down.