Wicked Game (ha)

Ok, so I feel absolutely RIDICULOUS putting Chris Issac in here... but right now, I'm relating to it. First of all, it reminds me of senior year of high school when a bunch of my friends serenaded my spanish teacher after she told us she was in love with Chris Issac... I also would like to admit to the world that I sort-of for real like this song. I know. Weird = me.


Wicked Game - Chris Issac

The world was on fire and no one could save me but you,
It's strange what desire will make foolish people do.
I never dreamed that I'd meet somebody like you
I never dreamed that I'd lose somebody like you

No, I don't want to fall in love,
[This world is only gonna break your heart]
No, I don't want to fall in love,
[This world is only gonna break your heart]
With you

What a wicked game to play,
To make me feel this way.
What a wicked thing to do,
To let me dream of you.
What a wicked thing to say,
You never felt this way.
What a wicked thing to do,
To make me dream of you...

My Time Machine

Ok, so I have this associaton "problem" with music. I'll get a new CD and listen to it so much that I either wear it out or get sick of it for a looong time. Then, sometimes a few years later, I'll hear a song off of a particular CD that I listened to (on repeat) during a particular time in my life... and I'll be transported back to that time. Sometimes, for a second or two, I honestly think I've gone back in time. Very strange. I'll feel the same way I did then, and I'll remember things so clearly, like colors and smells and even the exact date of the moment I remember.
Sometimes, if I start listening to the CD again, off and on, it'll stop reminding me of whatever it reminds me of. Other times though, I never really get back into the music like I originally had, and consequently there are certain songs and whole CDs that will throw me back in time.
Examples, you say? For instance, whenever I hear a track off of the Goo Goo Dolls "dizzy up the girl," I start to feel angsty and moody like I did when I was 16, lying on the floor of my room and listening to that CD on repeat, writing in my journal after school.

So, I've figured out that this happens with people too.

Facebook

It's official.
Facebook.com has made me insane.

Reality

I have come to the conclusion that reality doesn't exist.
If my reality is different that everyone else's reality... how can we really say that there is some big REAL reality that exists but that no one can see or understand because we're all stuck in our own distored, personal realities?
Confused? Sorry. Me too.

Limbo

This song is pretty popular right now. Don't be annoyed. I just think the lyrics are great. I like the message. It reminds me of my life and my current inability to compare my new experiences to any of those I can recall from the past 22 years.

Audioslave - Doesn't Remind Me

I walk the streets of Japan till I get lost
Cause it doesn't remind me of anything
With a graveyard tan carrying a cross
Cause it doesn't remind me of anything
I like studying faces in a parking lot
Cause it doesn't remind me of anything
I like driving backwards in the fog
Cause it doesn't remind me of anything

The things that I've loved the things that I've lost
The things I've held sacred that I've dropped
I won't lie no more you can bet
I don't want to learn what I'll need to forget

I like gypsy moths and radio talk
Cause it doesn't remind me of anything
I like gospel music and canned applause
Cause it doesn't remind me of anything
I like colorful clothing in the sun
Cause it doesn't remind me of anything
I ilke hammering nails and speaking in tongues
Cause it doesn't remind me of anything

The things that I've loved the things that I've lost
The things I've held sacred that I've dropped
I won't lie no more you can bet
I don't want to learn what I'll need to forget

Bend and shape me,I love the way you are
Slow and sweetly, Like never before
Calm and sleeping, We won't stir up the past
So descretely, We won't look back

The things that I've loved the things that I've lost
The things I've held sacred that I've dropped
I won't lie no more you can bet
I don't want to learn what I'll need to forget

I like throwing my voice and breaking guitars
Cause it doesn't remind me of anything
I like playing in the sand what's mine is ours
If it doesn't remind me of anything

The Real World

It's mid-September, and for the first time that I can remember, I am not in a classroom. This is very strange. I really miss the academic environment, and I know I need to get back there at some point. Right now, though, I need to take life a day at a time.

I moved into my new place.... well, it's not entirely mine, I have a roommate. My darling friend from way back when, Adam. If you haven't met him, you should. He's super cool. I also have a very stupid job where I sit for eight hours and call people and try to make them pay their electric bills.

I like the neighborhood (near Uptown - Minneapolis). It is still very strange to me though, that I am out being a real person now. Me?? I'm not sure I'm capable of taking care of myself like this. I remember when I couldn't pump gas because I was afraid of the nozzle! ....... and now I live in the city, so far by myself (roommate hasn't moved in quite yet).
This new situation is so foreign and unreal to me, I keep thinking it's a joke, or pretend, or something. I have no reference point to stack my new experiences up against. I'm just floating along.

Even more crazy... I don't mind the limbo. I used to freakout about the "unknown." It's definitely still scary, but now I just take it as it comes. I'm a lot more open to trying new things. I don't know how this happened to me.
Maybe I'm just ready. (Ready for what? I don't know. Don't ask me that.)
I guess I just realized that this is my chance to enjoy life, and I can chose how to live or how to feel about the way I live. Why waste time worrying or regretting things? Seriously. Plus, I'm young now... I'll never be this energetic and ready for adventure later in life, so I damn well better take advantage of that now! There's just to much to see and learn to sit on my ass.

Unfortunately, an 8-5 job requires that I sit on my ass for at least 8 hours a day, with an hour break for lunch. Stupid. I need a job that lets me explore. There are too many things I want to do!!! Argh. I can't decide!