My thoughts are twisted like spaghetti
Today I got a letter from the UW Credit Union. They sent me a questionnaire. The top of it says "Please tell us why you haven't opened an account at UW Credit Union." I guess they want to know students' reasons for not choosing to bank on campus so they can better their services offered.
The funny thing is that I opened an account with them over a month ago. I'm kinda wondering what records they looked at to process the names for this mailing. Weirdos. Should I fill out the questionarrie anyway? I think I'll just send it back and say "Hey jackass, check your data... I'm ALREADY a customer. Please stop wasting paper."
I'm feeling lonely again. I hosted yet another one of my infamous (I'd like to think they're infamous) Halloween costume parties last night. To my disappointment, it was sparsely attended. Two of the second year TAs that showed up said that it was a pretty normal TA party - Sociology grad students are apparently lame and busy and rarely go to parties... and when the do, they leave around 10pm. Okay, fine. The thing that pissed me off was that at least four people told me they'd definitely be there - and then they didn't show up.
Okay, so I realize this is petty and pathetic. Buuut I'm pretty confident about my party hosting abilities... I've gotten so many compliments over the years (not that this is a difficult skill... it's just one of the few things I'm good at). I love hosting because then I can make sure everyone's having fun and is sufficiently stuffed with food, and at the end of the night, I get to hear about how much fun they had and how great the event was. Then I get to feel successful and happy that I have so many cool friends.
In my eyes, then, the party last night was a failure. The people that were there were very grateful and happy. Britta even called me today to thank me for hosting and to say that she was sorry more people didn't show up - she said she knows the amount of time and effort (and money) it takes to host a good party, and it really sucks when people blow you off.
That made me feel a bit better. The entire event just left me feeling sad and alone. Maybe I should stop having parties until I actually make some real friends.
Whatever. Sorry. I'm feeling sorry for myself and I really don't have any right to do so.
I talked to Mom today. Dad has one week and three days left of radiation therapy. Katie went home this weekend (it's her bf's birthday). I guess she was kind of upset when she saw Dad. She walked up to him, and Mom said "look who's here, Bud." Dad was, turned to the side, looking straight ahead instead of down and said he didn't see anyone.
Mom turned him so he was facing Katie and said "Now can you see who's here?"
"No," he said. He was still looking *over* Katie's head. So Mom said "Tilt your head down."
Finally he saw Katie.
Maybe my preoccupation with the stupid party is just me focusing my feelings of fear, loneliness and grief on something else besides my family and moving-to-new-city issues.
I did fix up a heaping plate of spaghetti for dinner. That always makes me feel better. CARBS.
The funny thing is that I opened an account with them over a month ago. I'm kinda wondering what records they looked at to process the names for this mailing. Weirdos. Should I fill out the questionarrie anyway? I think I'll just send it back and say "Hey jackass, check your data... I'm ALREADY a customer. Please stop wasting paper."
I'm feeling lonely again. I hosted yet another one of my infamous (I'd like to think they're infamous) Halloween costume parties last night. To my disappointment, it was sparsely attended. Two of the second year TAs that showed up said that it was a pretty normal TA party - Sociology grad students are apparently lame and busy and rarely go to parties... and when the do, they leave around 10pm. Okay, fine. The thing that pissed me off was that at least four people told me they'd definitely be there - and then they didn't show up.
Okay, so I realize this is petty and pathetic. Buuut I'm pretty confident about my party hosting abilities... I've gotten so many compliments over the years (not that this is a difficult skill... it's just one of the few things I'm good at). I love hosting because then I can make sure everyone's having fun and is sufficiently stuffed with food, and at the end of the night, I get to hear about how much fun they had and how great the event was. Then I get to feel successful and happy that I have so many cool friends.
In my eyes, then, the party last night was a failure. The people that were there were very grateful and happy. Britta even called me today to thank me for hosting and to say that she was sorry more people didn't show up - she said she knows the amount of time and effort (and money) it takes to host a good party, and it really sucks when people blow you off.
That made me feel a bit better. The entire event just left me feeling sad and alone. Maybe I should stop having parties until I actually make some real friends.
Whatever. Sorry. I'm feeling sorry for myself and I really don't have any right to do so.
I talked to Mom today. Dad has one week and three days left of radiation therapy. Katie went home this weekend (it's her bf's birthday). I guess she was kind of upset when she saw Dad. She walked up to him, and Mom said "look who's here, Bud." Dad was, turned to the side, looking straight ahead instead of down and said he didn't see anyone.
Mom turned him so he was facing Katie and said "Now can you see who's here?"
"No," he said. He was still looking *over* Katie's head. So Mom said "Tilt your head down."
Finally he saw Katie.
Maybe my preoccupation with the stupid party is just me focusing my feelings of fear, loneliness and grief on something else besides my family and moving-to-new-city issues.
I did fix up a heaping plate of spaghetti for dinner. That always makes me feel better. CARBS.
posted by Laura at
8:49 PM
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