A Brick Wall Adventure

Well, damn. It finally happened. I was starting to get anxious about it happening, and now I'm wondering if that anxiety had a part in helping it along.

On Tuesday night, I had one of my old "freak outs." (Actually not as horrible as it sounds.)

I've noticed that whenever I begin something new, within the first two weeks, I breakdown and cry... mostly out of frustration, fear, loneliness... whatever. It doesn't happen very much - don't worry, I don't need any professional help

I lasted slightly longer than two weeks this time. But then on Tuesday night, after a lengthy, exhausting first day of classes, a really random evening, and after being mauled by my landlord's skittish cat, I was just done being excited and happy.
I guess it was just time for my brain to flush out all of my built up worries.

So this time, instead of locking myself in my room and using up an entire box of kleenex, I actually called someone. Yeah, are you suprised? I (finally) decided to take the advice I've received so much - that I have good friends who will help me out and not think I'm too much of a freak for getting upset over something as small as a cat scratch.

Blah blah blah. Anyway, I had a great phone conversation while sitting out on the front steps. I felt a lot better and suddenly understood that famous line that says something about your friends knowing you and loving you anyway. My good friends know I'm kind of a psycho, and I'm happily suprised that they don't seem to mind.

It got late, and I figured I should try to sleep. I found my headphones, put in some Floyd. No, all was not completely well in the world, but I know that that's okay.

So... I'd felt like I was running full speed down a dark alley and had suddenly hit a brick wall. (Yeah, ouch.) All I really had to do was open my eyes and reach out. It was that easy to find a hand to help me stand up and also to show me the little door in the corner - the way around the wall that I'd missed while I was running so fast.