I can't think of a creative title
So I'm sitting on the couch... again... took the day off from applications. I am now on my third movie in a row, although the first one was basically on for background noise since Kristen stopped over right after I started the DVD.
Anyway, I was just looking through my Documents folder, looking for a decent enough paper to send to grad schools as a writing sample. I found this "ancient" word doc from my Creative Writing class that I took senior year of high school... a Farrago.
The topic I'd chosen to write on was relationship/love. I was struck by how good the writing was... (that's NOT meant to sound like I'm bragging).
I was also surprised at how "deep" the writing went - I don't know if it was just Laura the angsty teenager with rollercoaster emotions... or what... but the depth of expression... I FELT so much back then. Everything was so big.
It's not like I'm a block of ice now... but it has certainly been a while since I've had any overwhelming, mind-blowing, knock-the-wind-out-of-my-lungs feelings. I have apparently had too many bad experiences that seem to result directly from me letting myself get lost in big feelings.
Is this just what happens when we grow up? We become accustomed to the monotony of the real world, not veering off our straight clear path, and not daring to FEEL strongly about anything. It's too dangerous. We've learned that feelings that big can hurt... and we weigh the pros and cons and decide that the hurt isn't worth it.
Is it just our culture that is obsessed with always feeling secure and safe?
Well, I tell you what... I am sick of floating safely along in my bubble. I'd rather feel the sharp edges in life, before I forget how to really feel.
In my opinion, if I don't let myself feel because the possibility exists that I might get hurt... I will also miss out on the other side of that possibility... that letting myself feel could also lead to some amazing, unforgetable experience... something worthwhile... something good.
Damn. This is the result of me reading an old high school assignment? Wow.
Anyway, I was just looking through my Documents folder, looking for a decent enough paper to send to grad schools as a writing sample. I found this "ancient" word doc from my Creative Writing class that I took senior year of high school... a Farrago.
The topic I'd chosen to write on was relationship/love. I was struck by how good the writing was... (that's NOT meant to sound like I'm bragging).
I was also surprised at how "deep" the writing went - I don't know if it was just Laura the angsty teenager with rollercoaster emotions... or what... but the depth of expression... I FELT so much back then. Everything was so big.
It's not like I'm a block of ice now... but it has certainly been a while since I've had any overwhelming, mind-blowing, knock-the-wind-out-of-my-lungs feelings. I have apparently had too many bad experiences that seem to result directly from me letting myself get lost in big feelings.
Is this just what happens when we grow up? We become accustomed to the monotony of the real world, not veering off our straight clear path, and not daring to FEEL strongly about anything. It's too dangerous. We've learned that feelings that big can hurt... and we weigh the pros and cons and decide that the hurt isn't worth it.
Is it just our culture that is obsessed with always feeling secure and safe?
Well, I tell you what... I am sick of floating safely along in my bubble. I'd rather feel the sharp edges in life, before I forget how to really feel.
In my opinion, if I don't let myself feel because the possibility exists that I might get hurt... I will also miss out on the other side of that possibility... that letting myself feel could also lead to some amazing, unforgetable experience... something worthwhile... something good.
Damn. This is the result of me reading an old high school assignment? Wow.
posted by Laura at
12:21 AM
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